by tcoates | Mar 24, 2022 | Podcasts
If you’ve ever struggled with perfectionist or people-pleasing tendencies, this one’s for you.
I’m sitting down with Margaret Ghielmetti to talk about her phenomenal book Brave(ish): A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist.
Margaret Davis Ghielmetti is a writer, storyteller, solo performance artist, and photographer who wrote Brave(ish): A Memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist to inspire readers that it’s never too late to learn to live our own lives if we dare to let go of outdated roles and rules we thought kept us safe.
Margaret has lived on four continents with her Swiss husband. Her journeys inform her rallying cry (“The world is not my enemy!”) and her creative work, including winning two StorySLAMs with The Moth.
Margaret loves to entertain readers and listeners with her adventures (and mis-adventures) abroad and is passionate about sharing what other countries and cultures have taught her.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
- How Margaret’s experiences of being vulnerable in her stage storytelling informed her writing
- Why Margaret had to confront the rules and roles in the “Davis Family Handbook”
- How she learned to let down the mask of the perfect hostess, tour guide, expat and be her authentic self
Learn more about Margaret Ghielmetti:
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by tcoates | Feb 24, 2022 | Podcasts
As a family law attorney, my clients are often juggling many balls in the air at any given time–their careers, their relationships, their kids, their family and friends, and if they’re lucky, a minute or two for themselves.
They’re exhausted, burned out, and stressed. Not to mention that they’re going through the emotional roller coaster ride of a separation and divorce process.
As a life coach, I have the privilege of working with amazing high-achieving women who are killing it in so many areas of their professional lives, who are what I refer to as “amazing on paper.”
Because they, too, have similar pain points and feel unfulfilled and like they’re failing in their personal lives.
So many of us work to shield the behind the scenes hot mess of our day to day lives, until it creeps up into other parts of our lives and we have no choice but to deal with it.
Today I’m talking with Tiffany Vaughan and we’re shining a light on what many of us may be going through behind closed doors. Tiffany lets us in on her journey, dealing with everything from struggling with IVF to a mental breakdown, to dealing with ADHD and ODD diagnoses with her children.
It’s so important for us to feel like we aren’t the only ones in a particular situation and to hear from others who totally get it because they’re on a similar journey.
Tiffany Vaughan is a Soul Coach who is passionate about helping women explore their spiritual awakening and tune into their divine purpose for being here. She also hosts the podcast, Hard Beautiful Journey.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
- How their fertility struggles took an emotional, mental, and financial toll on Tiffany’s marriage
- How her kids’ difficulties have impacted Tiffany’s mental health
- Why finding the right therapist saved Tiffany’s life
- Why Tiffany feels called to share her experiences, and why she needed her husband to be on board
Learn more about Tiffany Vaughan:
Learn more about Tracey:
by tcoates | Feb 10, 2022 | Podcasts
If you live in Washington, DC, Maryland, or Virginia–or the DMV as it’s affectionately called– chances are great that you or someone you know is a federal employee.
It’s a lot like being a lawyer in this town, you throw a stone and you hit about five or six attorneys along the way.
And it may come as no surprise to many of you that there are unique considerations for those individuals, married to federal employees and are contemplating a divorce, particularly in the areas of retirement and health insurance benefits.
It can be an interesting road to navigate if you don’t know the ins and outs and are not working with a competent lawyer who is knowledgeable in this area.
So if you or someone you know is in this boat and are considering going through a divorce, you’re going to want to have a pen and paper handy during today’s episode, because my guest is the perfect person to dive into the nuances of divorce for federal employees and their spouses.
Jessica Markham is the Managing Principal Attorney at Markham Law Firm in Bethesda, Maryland. She practices all aspects of family law in Maryland and Washington, D.C. She is collaboratively trained and also handles guardianship matters as well as serves as a child privilege attorney and a best interest attorney. She is also the author of Representing Federal Employees and Their Spouses in Divorce.
Ms. Markham and Markham Law Firm have been repeatedly recognized for excellence in the fields of Family Law, Divorce and Alternative Dispute Resolution, with recent top rankings in Best Lawyers in America©, Bethesda Magazine, and Washingtonian Magazine.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
- Federal pension systems and why it matters even if you were a federal employee for only a short time
- Why federal retirement plans require additional consideration and court orders
- How survivor benefits complicate the math on pension assets
- How pensions and survivor benefits impact access to federal health benefits
Learn more about Jessica Markham:
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by tcoates | Jan 27, 2022 | Podcasts
The last two years have been rough for all of us.
None of us, myself included, has been spared from the emotional, physical, and mental, rollercoaster that the last two years have been because of the pandemic.
I don’t know that we’ll ever really get back to our pre-COVID sense of normalcy, but I will tell you I have grown accustomed to and have really appreciated some of the changes brought about by the pandemic.
I think some of you may agree with me in terms of the silver linings that a lot of us have been able to see. The thing that I’ve most heard back from clients and friends is the silver lining of time.
Over the last couple of years, the pandemic has allowed many of us to slow things down in a lot of ways. It has certainly allowed me more time with my children and my husband.
No one knew how working remotely was going to work. How were lawyers supposed to have cases and trials and hearings and mediations and meet with clients if we were all stuck at home? It has been a little tough, but now it’s the new normal. I’ve had many trials, hearings, mediations without ever setting foot in a courthouse. I haven’t been in the office or spending an hour and a half each way commuting nearly as much as I used to.
And as far as meeting with clients, we have all really learned to utilize technology at its highest level and it’s really been working. And I’ve got to tell you, I really enjoyed it.
I am a really big believer that change is a good thing. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s such a necessary component for growth and moving toward our goals, whatever those may be, in all aspects of our lives.
One of the biggest and most recent changes for me professionally has been joining a new firm after being at the same for the last ten and a half years. I loved my old firm, it was my home away from home, and it was worth the commute, but I also think sometimes that you have to take a leap of faith and pursue new opportunities.
And I did that by joining a larger firm as a partner, co-chairing the DC, Maryland, and Virginia family law practice group at Cipriani and Werner.
That has been a huge change for me over the last couple of months. I often say that I’m like an old dog trying to be taught a whole lot of new tricks. There’s always a learning curve, but it has certainly been worth it.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
- How we’re faring going into year three of the pandemic
- Exciting professional changes
- Why I became a certified life coach
- A shameless plug
One of the other big changes that I’m really excited about is that I have recently become a Certified Life Coach.
Some of you may be asking, what in the world is a life coach? I like to describe it as someone who helps you bridge the gap from where you are currently to where you want to be. That could be in your career, your relationships, as a parent, as a friend, in your business, or any other aspect of your life. A life coach helps you figure out what your goals are, what the end goal and result you’re trying to get to are, and what strategies and tools you need to implement that change.
As a busy lawyer, wife, and mom, I know how difficult it can be to try to juggle all of the demands of a successful career and balance it with the demands of your personal life and your relationships. Often caring for your own mental and physical health comes last.
I found myself craving a way to look at my life and all of the crazy and figure out how to be less resentful, less stressed, and focus less on the badge of being busy and more on being fulfilled in the life that I have and begin focusing on where I wanted to see growth and change and how I wanted to show up, what thoughts and actions would lead me to those various goals. And life coaching really gave me the tools to do that.
And because I believe so deeply in coaching, I decided to get certified and begin coaching professional women. My clients are people who I like to say are kicking butt in their professional life, but feel like a hot mess everywhere else.
On paper, they’re amazing, but they feel like there’s something missing or they’re overwhelmed or this version of success hasn’t been what they envisioned for themselves or their lives, and now it’s time to do something to change that.
Coaching has had such an impact on my personal and professional life and I’m excited to share that.
Finally, a shameless plug for my sister, Laura Coates, and her new book Just Pursuit. Laura is a legal analyst for CNN and she has a show on Sirius XM on POTUS. Just Pursuit is an intimate look at the legal system through the eyes of my sister, who is a former prosecutor, as she explores the tension between the idealism of the law and the reality of working within the parameters of our flawed legal system, exposing the chasm between what is right and what is lawful.
It’s an incredible book and I’m very proud of my little sister.
I can’t wait to share all of our upcoming podcasts, all about relationships, separation, divorce, from the beginning to the end.
Learn more about Tracey:
Recources:
by tcoates | Apr 8, 2021 | Podcasts
As we go through life’s journey, we develop and nourish so many of our relationships—relationships with family and friends and, of course, significant others.
We pour time, energy, and resources into these relationships.
But there’s another relationship that can have such a significant impact on our daily lives and can absolutely have a lasting effect if we don’t nurture it and give it the time and attention it deserves….
And that is the relationship we have with our finances.
As so many of you know, at some point and time in our romantic relationships, the issue of finances is an issue. I don’t have to remind you that finances can be one of the major stresses in a relationship that some couples are able to overcome while others are paralyzed and torn apart.
So what kind of things can a couple do to minimize financial stressors in a relationship?
Well, you’re in for a treat my friends because joining me on the podcast today is Jacquette Timmons.
One of the unique approaches to finances that Jacquette focuses on is the human side of money. Jacquette works as a financial behaviorist and is committed to getting you to see that you don’t manage money—you manage your choices around money.
In addition to being an author and frequent blogger, Jacquette is also the creator of The Comfort Circle™ – a dinner series, where she hosts discussions about money, business and life over food and wine – and the Pricing Made Human™ masterclass
Listen to the full episode to hear:
- The emotional and behavioral blocks that people have when dealing with money
- Why money is one of the longest-standing relationships you will have—and the mindset, emotional and practical influences it has on your life
- How money is a communication tool and why it should be talked about outside of big decisions in your relationship
- Why being vulnerable and transparent is essential to a healthy relationship between your partner and your money
Learn more about Jacquette Timmons:
Learn more about Tracey:
- Tracey Coates – Homepage
- Instagram: @iamtraceycoates
- For a chance to win a three-month subscription to my brand new monthly subscription box, Time 4 Mom, please head over to traceycoates.com/time4mom. This monthly subscription box is carefully curated to give moms permission to prioritize self-care, encourage personal growth, and enjoy a little me-time
