Cherie Morris is a divorce coach, parent coordinator, an author, and a mother. While going through her own divorce, Cherie recognized a need for an organized framework and a path to communication. Transitioning through divorce can be an emotionally charged time and having tools and professionals in place to assist along the way is essential.
Now Cherie uses her expertise and personal experience to help others go through the divorce process and to transition and coparent in a way that is best for the children. In this episode, Cherie shares what it is to be a divorce coach and a parent coordinator. She shares some of the problems that arise with communication and expectations. Along with, how to find the support you need to frame the process in way that respects a family even after divorce.
[02:13] Cherie went through her divorce after being in a long-term marriage and having children.
[02:24] She had experienced divorce through her parents and friends, but what was different was that her spouse was very unprepared for coparenting and making decisions that were good for the family.
[02:55] Even after a divorce if you have children, you are still a family in many ways.
[03:11] Cherie had a top-notch lawyer and a good therapist. She was also a lawyer. Still, she felt that an objective thinking partner was missing from the process.
[03:52] She needed someone to help steer her clear from the pitfalls when emotions are high and logic is not always at the forefront.
[04:01] After her divorce, she discovered that this training was available.
[04:05] Cherie was ending her legal practice and saw this as an opportunity to pursue her passion and help others going forward with their divorces.
[04:17] This led to Cherie’s current career as a divorce coach and parent coordinator.
[04:51] Things that people should be thinking about when going through the divorce process.
[05:26] First off, you should always ask, can this marriage be saved? Have you done the work to repair the marriage if possible?
[05:54] Have you contemplated how things will look financially after the divorce?
[06:39] Always looked as closely as you can so that there are no unexpected surprises
[06:46] Ask what type of co-parent you expect your spouse to be.
[07:58] What is a divorce coach?
[08:28] The divorce coach holds your hand every step of the journey from the contemplation stage to the possible post-divorce complications.
[09:54] You will also need an attorney and possibly a therapist for emotional support.
[10:23] A certified divorce financial analyst is also very helpful.
[10:46] The divorce coach also provides help on the parenting front and making decisions with the co-parent.
[11:23] A divorce coach provides support and helps find professionals to meet whatever needs the divorcing couple is going through.
[12:35] A divorce coach also helps you frame your values.
[13:50] A divorce coach helps you decide what you want based on your values and helps you stay organized in the process.
[15:23] Coaches keep things private but not secret.
[16:23] If there’s no direct communication sometimes everything is misunderstood.
[18:14] Once the divorce is final, there is still more that needs to be done. Cherie helps with the life transition.
[20:21] Hiring a coach is less expensive than an attorney and clients can turn to the coach with non legal issues also helping to contain the cost of the divorce.
[20:42] This also allows the attorney to focus on the divorce and not the noise.
[24:33] Having someone who has done analytical work makes a great divorce coach. Therapists also make good divorce coaches.
[26:29] Parent coordination services consist of helping a parent or a couple resolve parenting disputes.
[27:04] She may help with framing emails or help with a couples communication.
[28:13] How a parenting plan is sometimes an overlooked part of divorce. This outlines a custody schedule with specific plans.
[31:40] The process for hiring a parent coordinator.
[34:25] Examples of parent coordination.
[34:40] The most common complaint from divorced parents is that they either can’t get a response or the response they get is rude.
[35:02] You have to understand that you can’t control another person.
[35:06] Then draft emails that indicate a deadline.
[35:32] View the communications through a different lens more like a business relationship.
[37:19] How people need to be heard and need to feel like someone is listening to them.
[38:18] Cherie has two different contracts binding and nonbinding.
[39:39] The cost of a parent coordinator is actually a little bit more than you would pay an attorney.
[40:48] Whether you are contemplating a divorce or beginning the process, Cheries new book is very helpful SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?: Tools To Help You Make Practical and Emotional Decisions When Thinking About Separation and Divorce.
[43:22] Cherie has clients all over the country and can serve people remotely. She offers free consultations and has tons of resources on her website.
Do you have any topics that you would like me to cover in future shows? Let me know in the comments below. Dont forget to subscribe to the show, and if you are enjoying what you hear please leave a review on iTunes.
Links and Resources:
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?: Tools To Help You Make Practical and Emotional Decisions When Thinking About Separation and Divorce
Dear Divorce Coach
Dear Divorce Coach on Facebook
@DearDivorceTeam on Twitter
Dear Divorce Coach on Pinterest
Dear Divorce Coach on Instagram
Cherie Morris on LinkedIn
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