The Impact of Domestic Violence on the Divorce Process With Guest Sara Tennen

by tcoates | Oct 9, 2018 | Podcasts

You can find Sara here:
DC Volunteer Lawyers Project

Show Notes:
[02:41] This is the 10th year of DCVLP providing high-quality pro bono legal services to domestic violence victims.
[03:12] They focus on representing domestic violence survivors in obtaining protection orders and ongoing custody and divorce litigation.
[03:32] Their lawyers also serve as court appointed guardians for at risk children.
[04:12] Sara has been practicing law for 15 years. She also has a degree in social work, and she feels her experience as a trained mediator is critical.
[05:21] Sara was one of Tracey’s first DCVLP supervisors. She was a wonderful example and a delight to work with.
[06:11] Domestic violence has many different faces. The definition is violent or aggressive behavior that occurs between two people who have an intimate partner relationship.
[06:59] The violence transcends all races and genders and can be physical, emotional, or sexual.
[07:32] There is frequently an element of control with abusers. This can include isolation or controlling where the victim goes or how they spend money.
[08:20] Abusers can be master manipulators. They can appear incredibly nice and respectful.
[09:15] They can appear wonderful until they get behind closed doors.
[10:25] The cycle of domestic violence. On average it takes seven attempts before the victim finally leaves the abuser. This is because there is an incident, apologies, calmness, then another incident. There can also be issues with finding a place to live or religious or cultural factors.
[11:42] Isolation by abusers has long-term implications.
[13:25] Boys who grow up witnessing domestic violence are twice as likely to be abusers when they are adults. Girls in the same situation are twice as likely to be abused.
[14:16] Victims are male and female. Relationships are hetero sexual or same sex relationships or transgendered.
[15:31] For men, there is a level of embarrassment from being the victim.
[16:18] A restraining order can give immediate relief. Individuals can file for divorce and custody of children.
[18:24] After an incident occurs, the victim can go to the courthouse and file paperwork for a protection order. You can ask for them to stay away from you, vacate your home, financial relief, and more.
user
[22:00] The divorce process. Depending on whether the domestic violence has been adjudicated or not, it impacts division of property, custody, and other aspects of the divorce.
[24:11] Allegations depend on whether there has been a finding by the court. If there has been a finding by the court, the law does favor the parent who has been the victim.
[26:57] Protective orders can be denied because there may not be a witness, or corroborating evidence, and it comes down to a he said she said.
[29:18] Manipulative abusers sometimes file counter allegations against the victim. This is a very calculated form of abuse.
[31:49] A subpoena is a request for evidence from a third party.
[32:45] Victims frequently change their minds and decide not to go forward at the last minute.
[36:19] If you are a victim of domestic violence reach out for help, because there are people who will help.

Do you have any topics that you would like me to cover in future shows? Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe to the show, and if you are enjoying what you hear please leave a review on iTunes.

Links and Resources:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
NCADV State Coalitions
Getting Help with Domestic Violence
Childhood Domestic Violence

Tips for Unrepresented Parties in Domestic Matters With Guest Bibi Berry

by tcoates | Sep 18, 2018 | Podcasts

Family magistrate Bibi Berry is here today. Before joining the judiciary, Magistrate Berry was a principal member and my former partner at the law firm of Paley Rothman in Bethesda, Maryland. She devoted most of her legal career to the practice of family law. She is a dear friend and a very smart and experienced family law practitioner.

She received her undergraduate degree from Howard University and her law degree from Georgetown University Law Center. She has served as a faculty member for the Family Law University for Sitting Judges and Magistrates, and the American Institute of CPAs expert witness workshops on business valuations. If she’s not in the courtroom, she could be on the golf course.

You can find Bibi here:
Judges & Magistrates

Show Notes:
[04:30] Bibi has practiced family law in the state of Maryland for 15 years.
[05:17] She recently became a family magistrate with the Maryland Judiciary in Montgomery County.
[05:49] Magistrates and judges are very similar. Bibi serves a dual function to help clear the docket and help advise the judges. They conduct preliminary hearings.
[07:35] They conduct evidentiary and non-evidentiary hearings. They make recommendations as to what should occur.
[09:11] Fact finders have to parse through all of the noise and get to what is truly relevant to the case.
[09:54] About 60% of Bibi’s litigants are unrepresented.
[10:43] If you are going to be involved in a case, it is absolutely beneficial to seek representation.
[11:20] Your attorney will know the law, the rules of procedure, and be able to navigate through the court.
[12:35] They will know the terminology and how to put together a case that is persuasive to the judge.
[13:26] It’s not a good idea to represent yourself and be emotionally tied to what you are going through.
[14:20] To navigate the judicial system, find available resources that will help you educate yourself. It’s also a good idea to look for pro bono representation. Educate yourself as much as possible and use the courthouse library.
[16:45] You can also look into hiring an attorney or a limited scope of time. Also look at the self-help centers located at many courthouses.
[19:40] At least have a consult with an attorney. Things are a little less daunting when you spend a couple hours with an experienced attorney. They can talk to you about issues, expectations, and the process. They will also give you an idea of what information you will need to present to the court.
[21:28] Read your paperwork before you go to the initial hearing. You can give a brief opening statement and present evidence and facts. You will be put under oath. If you are the moving party, you have the burden of proving. Find relevant facts.
[24:28] Evidence includes witnesses, documents, and other items.
[24:57] Objections are rules that preclude certain types of evidence from being presented to the court. One of these objections is hearsay.
[28:07] Children aren’t usually brought in to testify, because we don’t want them involved in the legal process unless they really need to be there. The child should have an attorney to relay their perspective.
[30:31] Objections concerning relevancy. It’s important to object to any evidence that is not relevant to the case.
[32:09] Making an objection because a person is lying is not a proper objection. Instead, you would address it by telling the judge that it is not true when it is your turn to speak.
[33:09] Any litigant, especially self represented litigants should be prepared and write out what they want to get across to the court in advance.
[35:03] It’s important to make sure that you connect the facts of the case with the law. This is another reason why it’s important to do your due diligence or speak with an attorney.
[37:41] Dress professionally when you’re in court. The judge will be assessing your demeanor and your character. You should do anything that will help tip the scale in your favor. Be punctual. Be respectful of the court.
[40:59] Don’t make gestures or roll your eyes when the opposing person is speaking.
[42:11] Judges are somewhat detached, so they can be open to both sides of the aisle.
[42:54] Litigants should sit there quietly and listen to what is being said.
[43:32] If you don’t tell the truth, the court will be less inclined to believe other things that you say. You can’t change the facts. If you lie on the stand or misrepresent something, you could tarnish your credibility and ruin your case.

Do you have any topics that you would like me to cover in future shows? Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe to the show, and if you are enjoying what you hear please leave a review on iTunes.

Links and Resources:
Paley Rothman

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Mortgage Lending Issues Unique to Separating Couples With Guest Margie Hofberg

by tcoates | Aug 21, 2018 | Podcasts

What happens when two spouses that are joint owners of a home get divorced? One spouse may want to remain in the home while the other spouse is planning on moving out. What if there is a sizeable mortgage that the remaining spouse may or may not be able to afford? Is there a way to lower the existing mortgage, so that the remaining spouse is able to realistically afford it?

What if the remaining spouse hasn’t been in the workforce for a while or has been working part-time? What if the only income they are planning on receiving is alimony? Will the spouse who leaves be able to remove his or her name from the title and mortgage? These are some of the many questions that come up with home ownership and divorce.

Joining me today to tackle these questions is Margie Hofberg. Margie has over 30 years of experience in the mortgage industry and is the owner of Residential Mortgage Center Inc. She is a mortgage expert and shares a wealth of wisdom and practical advice on mortgage issues that are unique to separating couples.

You can find Margie here:
Residential Mortgage Center Inc
[email protected]

Show Notes:
[02:08] We are in person for this podcast.
[02:39] Margie is a mortgage lender who started her company in 1984. She is experienced.
[02:55] She has seen the industry change dramatically and go up and down.
[03:05] About 15 years ago, she started working more and more with families going through separation and divorce.
[03:20] She felt that she could really help people not only with her mortgage knowledge, but also with her softer skills.
[03:38] About 60% of the new loans she quotes are for divorcing couples.
[03:51] Her company is licensed in the DC Metro area.
[04:03] What couples are facing when going through divorce and one party wants to stay in the home.
[04:30] When one couple wants to stay in the home Margie helps them with an equity buyout.
[04:58] An equity buyout is a refinance as one owner of a house. A refinance is easier than a purchase. You have to have equity and cannot be underwater.
[05:42] Question one is what do you think the value of the house is? Then find the balance of the mortgage and make some assumptions.
[06:10] It’s the value of the house minus the existing mortgage divided by two. This would equal the equity buyout.
[06:47] Let’s say it’s a $400,000 house and there is a $200,000 mortgage and $200,000 of equity. To buy the other person’s share of equity it would be $100,000.
[07:22] What you would do is get a new mortgage to pay off the old mortgage plus the $100,000 in equity and closing costs. So the new loan would be $305,000.
[08:21] Find the least expensive and most reliable source to determine value. Often times, a realtor in the neighborhood will know or do a certified market analysis or CMA.
[09:46] The next step would be to determine a payment. Then you need to see if you can afford the payment. How much income do you need to qualify for that loan.
[10:35] Factors to qualify for a loan.
[10:49] The first hurdle is your debt to income ratio. Your gross monthly income compared to monthly housing expense which includes mortgage payment, credit card minimums, car loans, and student loans.
[11:56] Support can be qualifying income for a mortgage.
[12:32] You will need a signed agreement. A six month history of receiving it. It needs to come from an account with just your name from an account with just the ex spouse’s name.
[14:35] You can build the six month history before signing the agreement.
[16:08] The approval can expire. The credit report and appraisal is for 120 days.
[17:45] Use the same appraisal for the refinance and the equity agreement.
[19:12] Margie could work with both people, but would be very careful about that.
[21:05] There are fees associated with loans. It is not cost effective for small loans.
[22:08] The support also has to continue for at least 3 years after the application.
[24:20] The 3-2-1 alimony allocation. You can adjust the amounts to make sure you qualify.
[25:14] Things to qualify alimony payments include a signed agreement, 6 month payment history, and 3 years of support being paid.
[25:33] The payments have to be monthly. Child support because it is not taxed is grossed up by 125%.
[29:01] If an agreement looks like an agreement and deals with the important things being discussed, it would probably get approved.
[30:12] In the collaborative process, each couple has their own attorney and they sign an agreement and decide not to go to court.
[30:37] Margie has a lot more involvement in a collaborative place. The team contacts her throughout the process.
[32:14] Can the person refinancing take out additional money for repairs. An equity buyout is only paying off the existing mortgage, paying the other spouse equity, and closing costs. This is a no cash out refinance and has better terms. You can also go on a higher loan-to-value.
[33:49] With a lot of equity there can be a cash out refinance.
[34:20] Loan-to-value is the value of the property based on the appraisal compared to the loan amount.
[37:46] Separation agreements are recorded in other parts of the country. If your lender requires this, they are not from the DC Metro area.
[39:05] It’s important to work with a mortgage lender who has a lot of experience working with separation and divorce. It’s also important understand the laws in your jurisdiction.
[39:47] A separation agreement is a signed document. An amended agreement could hurt the process.
[42:20] Take advantage of finding a quality mortgage lender and using them, because there are no fees.
[44:13] Mortgage brokers are paid by the lenders.
Do you have any topics that you would like me to cover in future shows? Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe to the show, and if you are enjoying what you hear please leave a review on iTunes.

Links and Resources:
Residential Mortgage Center Inc
[email protected]

The Impact of International Family Law Issues During the Divorce Process With Guest Melissa Kucinski

by tcoates | Jul 31, 2018 | Podcasts

Melissa Kucinski is a family law attorney and mediator practicing in the DC and Maryland area. She has created a unique niche in the family law area and brings a wealth of knowledge and experience in international family law. She has served as a consultant to the Hague Conference on Private International Law and has written a dozen articles on international children’s issues and mediation of complex cross-border custody and abduction cases.

There is no one better than Melissa to share the ins and outs of the Hague Treaty. Melissa has also presented at nearly 30 national and international conferences on international children’s issues. She is a Fellow of the International Academy of Lawyers. She is also a professor at the George Washington University School of Law where she has been teaching international family law since 2010. She is the author of A Practical Handbook for the Child’s Attorney: Effectively Representing Children in Custody Cases. It’s an honor to have her on the show today.

You can find Melissa here:
MK Family Law
Melissa Kucinski on LinkedIn
MK Family Law on Facebook
@mkucinski on Twitter
A Practical Handbook for the Child’s Attorney: Effectively Representing Children in Custody Cases

Show Notes:
[03:01] Melissa has been through the divorce process herself. It was in a state where she was not licensed to practice law. Each state has slightly different laws.
[03:37] Going through her own divorce gave Melissa a different perspective.
[05:59] Melissa practices all family law in Washington DC and Maryland, but she has a particular interest in focusing on families who have cross jurisdictional or international issues.
[06:31] She has had an interest in working with diverse people with diverse ways of life, ever since college.
[07:13] It’s very complex dealing with laws in multiple jurisdictions. She is practicing true law.
[08:10] Melissa was fortunate to connect with family law at an early stage in her education. Working with international families was a wonderful experience.
[11:06] Families going through restructuring who have international connections need to talk to a lawyer who understands these complex issues.
[12:15] The process for dealing with international issues. There needs to be a collaboration of lawyers in all of the different jurisdictions.
[16:26] How are orders enforced either overseas or in the US? It depends on the issue and the country of enforcement.  
[18:48] Dealing with property issues in different jurisdictions. A complicating factor of overseas assets is that the laws in other countries are very different.
[23:53] Child abduction and parents taking their children overseas. Children are often taken by people they know like a parent or family member.
[24:24] There is always the question of whether another country will honor an order given in the United States.
[25:11] There are some laws in the United States that make taking a child overseas a crime. The criminal path is the worst-case scenario.
[26:18] There are civil remedies. One of these is the Hague conference on child abduction. The goal is a quick expedited proceeding.
[28:16] Why wouldn’t all countries want to be part of the Hague convention? Some domestic legal systems don’t support the way the treaty is drafted, but many countries have ratified the treaty.
[32:38] Returning a child does not create a custody status.
[34:18] The child has to be found before starting one of these custody processes.
[35:48] The best way to prevent a potential abduction in the United States is to have a court order in place.
[36:12] Uniform Child Abduction Prevention Act is a resource that lists risks factors and what can be in a court order to prevent an abduction.
[37:56] Having a court order is the absolute key, because in the United States there are no exit controls.
[38:38] To get a court order you have to demonstrate to a judge that the other parent is a risk.
Do you have any topics that you would like me to cover in future shows? Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe to the show, and if you are enjoying what you hear please leave a review on iTunes.

Links and Resources:
MK Family Law
Melissa Kucinski on LinkedIn
MK Family Law on Facebook
@mkucinski on Twitter
Hague Conference on Private International Law
US Department of State
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
Uniform Child Abduction Prevention Act